What do you do in your free time?

This goes out to all the girl(s/-friends) who, when faced with the question above,  cannot name at least three hobbies or interests they follow.

Why do I feel like I have to write about this? I'll tell you why.

I used to be one of them. A few years ago I was stuck in a very unhealthy relationship but still felt completely attached to my boyfriend. Spending time with him was my favourite pastime, which many of you will be able to identify with. Generally speaking this is not a problem, however, it can become an issue when spending time with your boyfriend is the only thing which makes you truly happy. I was still seeing friends and family regularly but more often than not it did not make me feel as fulfilled as being with my boyfriend. He, on the other hand, was the complete opposite; going out with his mates and spending hours in the gym six times a week formed essential parts of his week. You can take a guess how often we made each other unhappy because of this situation.

Why I felt so attached to him is hard to admit but easy to answer: receiving his attention felt like a confidence boost to me. Organising time away from him thus meant depriving myself of this source of self-esteem and comfort. I still find myself trapped in this feeling from time to time, even though I am in a very happy and healthy relationship now and my self-confidence has grown immensely.

While I was studying abroad I shared a floor in a student house with 19 other people, most of whom I developed a friendship with. However, one thing always bothered me: While the boys spent their time playing rugby in the hallway or investing in a miniature ping pong table, all the girls seemed to get up to was watching television or chatting about boys and friends. Even though I do enjoy having a coffee with a girlfriend while talking about the newest gossip, it hit me like a cold splash of water in the face that I was missing something. I was jealous of the boys! Of their activities, of their ability to enjoy each other's company without missing their girlfriends.

Find a new hobby and DO IT

So if you can identify with these feelings, tell yourself everyday that you are awesome- not because a guy (your boyfriend) tells you so, but because you know it and you are proud of who you are.

Find out what you truly enjoy and take time away from your relationship to follow your new hobby. It will feel like a stupid thing to do at first, but believe me, it's totally worth it! Here's another positive: he will find your new confidence extremely attractive...